Hope you like these:

THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY( as well as the idiosyncrasies of English)

- ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR.....
- ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.
- IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYSAND APES?
- I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, 'WHERE'S THE SELF-HELPSECTION?' SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.
- WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?
- IF A DEAF PERSON SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDSWITH SOAP?
- IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO k*ll HIMSELF, IS ITCONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?
- IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?
- WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO 'GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?'
- WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING ANENDANGERED PLANT?
- IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?
- WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?
- WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONEWILL CLEAN THEM?
- If A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?
- CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?
- IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TOREMAIN SILENT?
- WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
- ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
- HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVI L WAR?
- IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?
- IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?
- IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?
- WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN IT?
- WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED 'HEMORRHOIDS' INSTEAD OF 'ASSTEROIDS'?
- WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?
-WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?
- IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL PERSON IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES DO THEYBECOME DISORIENTED?
- CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?

Angel

cracked me up!!

I know this is an old post - but I just read it and it really made me laugh!!!

Love it!!

Thats good, made me laugh

CM